Happiness

I've long wanted to blog on the issue of why we're unhappy at times. This email I got today was timely and hence I'm blogging it here to share with you.

A common symptom of unhappiness is the complaint that we want happiness, but others make us unhappy. The truth is, no one other than ourselves can make us unhappy. We are unhappy about others only when we choose to relate to them in an unhappy manner. Flip this around and it is equally true - those who "make" you unhappy should realise that the cause of unhappiness is not you, but in how they choose to relate to you. If our happiness is always determined by how others treat us, how can we be truly happy? What if someone deluded thinks that making you unhappy brings happiness for oneself? Be generous, loving and wise to that person. Respond with sincerity. Seek to understand and bring happiness to that person. Focus on dissolving the person's unhappiness instead of being unhappy with how that person is affecting you. This also dissolves your unhappiness about that person. It's a win-win situation. Retaliating with aversion would only perpetuate unhappiness on both sides.

What if those unhappy with us do not appreciate our sincerity? This is still no cause for you to be unhappy. True sincerity expects no reciprocation. It simply does what is right - that aligned to happiness. There is happiness in knowing we are blameless, when we do our best to bring others happiness. The only ones who hold our happiness ransom is us. For instance, if someone is unhappy with me for saying the Earth is round, why should I be unhappy about that? The truth is that the Earth is not flat. Others' unhappiness with the truth has no power to make us unhappy if we are at peace with the truth. Likewise, others' unhappiness with the trueness of our sincerity has no power to make us unhappy. The options are obvious - If we do not choose to relate to those unhappy with us happily, we choose to relate to them unhappily. Our happiness first comes from how kindly and wisely we relate to the universe; not how it treats us. Yet the kinder and wiser we are, the kinder and wiser the universe is to us - for we are our most immediate "parts" of the universe!

Remember that you have the choice to be happy. Nothing is finite.